Not Talking About Mental Health is Killing People. It's Time to Start the Dialogue.
I grew up in a military family. My father is Vietnam era Veteran, and by a stroke of luck (that my family largely attributes to the luckiest show of the butterfly effect of all time), was spared from Vietnam at the last minute by a one-in-a-million mission change that sent him to Korea for the duration of the war. My grandfather on my dad's side fought in World War II; all of my great uncles did as well, and my maternal grandfather fought in the Korean War on the front lines. I grew up with my dad coming to my school's Veteran's Day celebrations; having kids in my classes who had older siblings fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan; and always was very aware the toll that combat and war has on veterans, and also anyone who has been through a traumatizing event or situation.
My grandfathers wouldn't talk about the wars. My mom's father said he wouldn't talk about it because "I saw those things so you would never have to." My dad's father, who fought in Battle of the Bulge and liberated a major concentration camp, simply refused to speak about the war except for things that were already known to the public through the news. We couldn't wake him up at night. I grew up knowing the extent that battle and the lack of public conversation surrounding mental health effects veterans (and humans overall) because of my upbringing in a military family; and I also figured out that all of these things could be attributed to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, something that I discovered firsthand is a hell that is all too real and far too swept under the rug for my comfort.
I never was in the military. I never fought in a battle; I never saw combat, and neither I or my cousins continued the family legacy of joining the armed forces. Nonetheless, I was still diagnosed with PTSD in 2012 after I was violently attacked by someone the year before. I also am a domestic violence survivor. The discourse and conversation around mental health wasn't a strong one at the time, and so I essentially was forced to power through it while trying to make sense of falling grades, not sleeping through the night, debilitating panic attacks and flashbacks that would hit me when I needed them to the least. I will never say that it was an easy battle, but now I've lived my life more memories of me being someone living wiht PTSD than not. Remembering life before it certainly isn't easy. It has been a learning experience, and the early years were the hardest. But it's something that is absolutely treatable and something that can shape you into a stronger person if resources are applied and help is given. But without talking about it and building a safer community to speak on PTSD, that can't happen. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we absolutely need to normalize mental health conversations more; and emphasize that sometimes it is absolutely okay to not be okay.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is more common in veterans than in the general population, with roughly 7% of Veterans developing the disorder post-combat, in a study cited by the United States Department of Veterans Affairs. When it comes to veterans who served in Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom, 29% of veterans can expect to experience PTSD at some point in life. 10% of Vietnam veterans will experience it at some point in life, and Persian Gulf War (Desert Storm) 21% veterans are expected to experience PTSD in their lifetime. These statistics are grim, and concerning considering we live in a society where there are more veterans needing care than the VA can provide; and 22 veterans a day are ending their lives. In article published by The New York Times in 2015 detailing the skyrocketing suicide numbers of service members of one Marine unit deployed to Afghanistan, surviving members of the hard-hit unit shared mixed emotions relating to treatment by the Department of Veterans Affairs. Six out of thirteen Marines in the batallion that ended up committing suicide gave up on VA treatment due to poor quality treatment and long wait times. Other Marines also cited the same reasons and, simply, that the VA did not help them at all.
The above was best depicted in the 2017 film, "Thank You For Your Service" starring Miles Teller. Based on the book of the same name penned by journalist David Finkel, the movie follows three servicemembers re-adjusting to civilian life after returning from Baghdad in 2007 and 2008, and heavily focuses on the struggles that veterans have dealing with the Department of Veterans Affairs itself. The movie goes as far as having a higher-up officer recognize Teller's character waiting to receive care at the VA, and shows him telling Teller's character to man up and not let the younger guys "see him fold". Another scene shows one of the three friends shoot himself in a bank after finding out his fiancè left him while he was on deployment. Another shows two of the men being told the next available appointment for therapy was in six months, to which Teller's character emphatically stated "do you think most of these guys have six months?" The treatment depicted in the movie (if you're reading this and still skeptical of the treatment, or lack thereof, that some veterans get) is further backed up by a study by The Journal of the American Psychiatric Association that shows that about two-thirds or Iraq and Afghanistan veterans stopped therapy for PTSD within the Veterans Affairs office within one year without completing treatment. Within a smaller study, the data shows that a whopping 90 percent of veterans dropped out of therapy altogether. Reasons for this? EMDR could be to blame. EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, focuses on having the patient briefly refocus and relive traumatic events to further move past it and process it; but for some, this can be re-triggering, ineffective and a reason to not want to revisit therapy. Also not helpful are the extremely long wait times; paperwork issues, or understaffed Veterans Affairs workers with far too many people to help than they are able to. A 2007 article by ABC News details the struggles of a family who dealt with their son, Master Sgt. James Coons, committing suicide in his room at Walter Reed Medical Center after his return from Iraq. The veteran was not discovered until two days after his suicide, which raised questions as to why there was not more attention being paid to those who have served their country and returned home, expected to assimilate as if war had never happened.
In my own, non-veteran personal experiences, up until recently, I've essentially been encouraged to not talk about my PTSD and the struggles I've had with it in the past. Of course, those who have never struggled with it will never know what it's like to not sleep through the night; to live through your worst experiences at the most inopportune times; and what it's like to have your reality altered after horrible things have happened to you. Fortunately, most of the population will never understand. But that is also a double-edged sword. Having people who are, for the most part, absolutely good-intentioned say to you, "why are you scared? You're surrounded by people who love you" or "just shake it off" are not things that make sense or in any way help from a cognitive standpoint. Being made fun of for taking medicine that helps your symptoms is not helpful, but in fact harmful. Taking strides to better yourself in a healthy and controlled way is not something to discourage people from. Rhetoric like that does not create survivors. The United States needs to further understand that you can't just shake off trauma. Of course, like me, one can attend therapy (which, as a civilian, was nearly impossible to find an affordable trauma therapist that takes certain insurance, but that's an argument for another day), and take active steps to better their lives. However, most people don't understand it's not a bruise that heals after two weeks. Recovering from trauma takes time, and complex trauma is harder to explain or understand. And if it takes months (for me...years) for a civilian to find therapy and treatment that works, then how long is it taking for veterans to get help? For many... far, far too long.
We have a "sit down and shut up" problem in the United States pertaining to mental health overall, and especially in veterans and those with PTSD. When it pertains to my friends who have served, they have touched on the mindset within the military or "manning up" or just staying silent when they're struggling over risk of not gaining a higher rank or getting another deployment. I've become passionate in helping and starting conversations with those who shared the same disorder and struggles as me, because I know how isolating and alone it feels to be someone living with this. Isolation kills. The rhetoric and narrative that having something not be okay is "weak" kills. This needs to change. For people who have seen combat, have seen tremendously terrifying scenes and who cannot get treatment or feel all hope is lost - silence and environments of isolation and silence can be deadly. I'm very lucky to have found the therapist I did; to have the support system I have in my family and friends; and to be able to, at the time of publishing, be able to say that after twelve years of living with this disorder, my PTSD now manifests as high-functioning anxiety and is manageable with the support system mentioned. Not to say some days aren't absolutely horrid, but I've been lucky enough to come out the other side. But for many, they don't have access to the things that civilians or other Americans do. And that needs to change. Without access to the proper care, therapy, and safe spaces necessary to make progress in healing, veterans are ending their lives at a rate of 22 a day. Even with the proper care, this is still happening. And if we don't change the conversation about mental health across the board, and especially in men...this will not get better.
There is a nationwide narrative that having PTSD makes you crazy, or a social pariah. This is largely attributed to post-World War I videos of soldiers returning home with shellshock and extreme trauma to a society that didn't know how to handle it. There is a viral photo of a Canadian soldier in a trench on the Western Front that falsely claims the man has "crazy eyes" from PTSD when in reality, the camera glitched and he wasn't known to have shellshock at all. That doesn't keep the internet from falsely pushing the narrative otherwise. We are now equipped to handle what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is, what traumatic brain injuries (TBIs) are, and how to give veterans and civilians the tools to live their lives again. But with the national conversation being that those with this disorder are "crazy", why would people that have it think that they should even get help at all? What's the point if they'll just be called crazy? By starting a conversation that you can have struggles but also still be human, we are creating a space that makes breathing easier for those who are desperately trying to wake up in the mornings and try to move past what they've gone through, seen, or heard. By creating spaces where veterans who fought in similar regions can meet up, bond, and share like experiences; we can forge friendships that combat loneliness which is a killer all within itself. We have to have these tough conversations so that lives can be saved, and I believe that they can.
We just need to start having them, and we have to start being realistic that being temporarily not ok does not make you crazy. It makes you human.
If you or anyone you know is a veteran or a survivor or complex trauma, please reach out to the following organizations:
Dial or text 988 on a cellular device.
Comments
Post a Comment